Mayan Dream Musings

Hello to all! Yesterday I talked about how to describe my music in the marketplace I mentioned that Watchers from The Beloved album is one of my favorite pieces ever. Why?

In the early 1990’s I traveled to various small sites in Mexico and one of them was Sayil. These sites have few tourists and so the area is relatively pure and untrampled. One of the smaller sacred buildings in Sayil had a brilliant white light over it. (I have a picture of this light.) I could feel that this sacred space was not empty and abandoned, but continued to be watched over by something spiritual. This is one of the main inspirations for The Watchers. In my lifetime, I have often had the experience of being cared for and watched over by the spiritual world. The Christian churches teach that we have guardian angels, and saints that are still in communication with us and care for us. Saints are simply people who lived good lives, have died, and now live on in the afterlife as spiritual beings. Most other cultures and religions have similar beliefs. The Mayan people certainly understand the world of spirit. All indigenous cultures recognize ancestors.
I call these spiritual beings the Watchers.

I began to hear music from this place.

The music began as a drum beat created as I played a large circular drum from the Mexican Highlands sent to me by Andy and Lysa. It’s sound is strength and courage; one single pulse beat repeated over and over at about 60 beats per minute.

Then the voices begin as a chorus. Their song has energy and depth. A melody comes in over the song of the Watchers, expressive and beautiful. The song builds, and then the portal begins to open through the majestic pipe organ sound. I just love this part with the pipe organ and the watchers all singing together in glorious happiness. Life is not sad, nor are we alone. We are totally supported and loved. We are part of a universal weaving. This part of the music is a hymn and it reminds me of the hymn played in the movie Chariots of Fire where a choir sings of purpose and courage in life.

The portal begins to close as the music of The Watchers ends. The song and drum continue, you can hear the crackling of the energy. Then a mighty wind emerges from the song, and stirs us into our own center…and the next piece of music which is “Stille Pointe”. I love this piece also. The musical motif which was given to me, is repeated over and over as we move deeper and deeper into inner silence. This silence is not static, but has motion and power in the midst of the silence. It is a space of beauty, and of velvet darkness; total safety and our home while we live on this planet. It is a place of being and listening.

Then in the silence, there is a call. I have a beautiful pottery flute from Mexico. This flute was created as a Mayan shaman kneeling in meditation. His eyes are closed but his mouth is open. He has a headdress of green and yellow feathers, and large red earrings in his ears. He has a necklace of power on his throat and sacred images on his clothing. These flutes are sold in quantity on Mayan sites by people calling out to tourists. However, this particular flute had a special, warm sound. I played this flute for the call into Chilam, the next piece of music in this trilogy.

Chilam means sacred speech. If you listen very carefully, you can hear me singing one of the melodies. My voice blends so well into the other instruments that you have to listen VERY carefully. Chilam actually was written originally as the song of the Cosmic Bench from Copan, Honduras. This was a place where people came to sit and be transported into other worlds for vision. They would bring this vision back and let it determine ACTION. Chilam is about speaking vision in the world. The melodies which wind around the piano “ground” felt so familiar to me that I was sure that I had copied them from somewhere else. However, that is not the case, and they simply have been a part of my life forever. It was such a “rush” to actually play them out and hear them outside of myself.

Another profound and incredible experience for me was bringing this music BACK into the Mexican Mayan sites and listening to it as I walked in those sacred spaces. Gives you shivers doesn’t it! Well….enough for today. Have a wonderful day!

What is my music? When I put my music onto Amazon or CDBaby, etc. the first thing they ask is for me to pick a category for my music. Is it new age, or classical, or world music, or religious music, or country western, or hard rock, or jazz……? Everything has to have a category in order to be marketed. Well…..what do I say? My music isn’t really classical because it is not being played by philharmonic orchestras, nor has been composed according to classical rules. There is no sheet music. (oh no!). However, it has a strong classical influence and is usually very tonal. My music is not new age because it is so descriptive and passionate. It is music with movement. However, it is used in many areas which are sometimes described in new age terms such as meditation, energy balancing work, labyrinth, etc. My music is not world music because I am a caucasian person writing music from the Mayan influence. I cannot claim that my drumming is any authentic native beat. However, the Mayan world has influenced my music, and it has a purpose for the betterment of the world. My music is not religious music, but it is sacred music. It is spiritual in its intent and in its origin. So…what does a musical non-conformist do with all of this? I have to ask the question from my inner spiritual center and go with the answer!

Then I have to name musicians who are most like me. Yikes!! Maybe I am a little bit like Kitaro without the sweeping violins, and Enya (sort of) without the Enya voice, and maybe a bit like Michael Stearns, and I swear I hear whispers of the music from Lord of the Rings when the hobbits are in the Shire. There is a resemblance to Beethoven in his pastoral symphonies (without the great orchestral technique). Who am I like??

Then I have to describe my music. I am encouraged to find fun, exciting and unusual “hooks” so that people will notice me. Hum…. does this sound like it furthers the cause of my music? Or is there a way that engages people on a soul level? In the marketplace…On the internet at Amazon…? Can we be authentic in the marketplace? or only in our own private homes? I know that people WANT music that feeds their soul, and they need descriptions that help them choose that music.

How do I do this? How do I give meaning to a description of my music beyond a listing of the instruments, its purpose, and what it describes in sound? It seems that I can capture some of this through my own experience with my music. How does “Heart of Earth” capture me?…..because it does. I love that piece of music and it speaks quiet to me. I feel the earth unfolding and embracing me, and I feel a deep quiet and security. Why do I feel a “coming home” when I put on The Journey of Joy and hear the first part of the first movement? This is a powerful feeling for me. How do I put it into words? Why is Watchers from The Beloved album one of my all time favorite pieces of music?

Then there is always the biography that must accompany any request to have music on Amazon, CDBabay, or on the radio. From what I read, the top ten picks of the reviewers is determined by the famous actions of the composer(s)/performer(s), and the quality of the music. I cannot compete with people with grammy nominations, or who have been touring for 30 years with famous bands, or who have written movie music. So, competition is a losing proposition.
So is determining my worth and my music’s worth based on outer goals achieved.

I reread my description (which I wrote) of me on my website and the various vendor websites. BORING! The description of me on this website, and on the various vendor websites is nice, but it does not BEGIN to say what my inner world is like, and what has formed me into a composer/performer. It does not begin to share a vision of wisdom with the person who is reading my biography. It does not take the reader into deeper spaces within him/herself. Here is the challenge again!

You might guess from this discussion that my descriptions, categories, biography, etc. will all be changing radically in the next week or so on my website, on Amazon, on CD Baby. This is part of the process of myself being “who I am” out in the world, and of being of service to the reader and listener.

WHAT IS YOUR WISDOM? E-mail me through this website (mayandream@comcast.net). I would love to share in your wisdom.

Over the weekend, it was beautiful outside…about 80 degrees and sunny. This was one last chance to do some yardwork before the next cold front moved through, bringing Autumn weather. I spent Saturday on a side of the house that has been neglected because we can’t see it unless we walk around the house. I pulled out weeds and hoed up hard earth.
I planted a few bright mums. This was hard labor, but what a diference it made! Will anyone see it? Only me when I walk around the outside of my house. This is, of course, what so much of my life is right now. With hard work, I am laying foundations for the future of Mayan Dream International and doing things that are known only to me. This is such a change from my former life at the Office of Worship where everything I did was very public.

It has been almost three months since I began self-employment full time. I am still realizing the change in my life, and discovering old patterns that need changing, old ways of doing things that no longer work for me, old ways of thinking.
I continually have to open to new ways, and remind myself to do this. Otherwise, I simply recreate what I know from working in my other life as Office of Worship director. That doesn’t work too well!

In between actually working very long hours here at Mayan Dream International, I am also cleaning out stuff that we no longer use and either giving it away, or throwing it away. Things we no longer used or needed sat around because I simply didn’t have the energy to do anything about them. So…..now space is being created for the “new” to come in.
Valuable items are being recycled and are reclaiming their value. I’m sure that is also part of the nesting instinct of living beings in Autumn in the Midwest. Every animal, including us humans, that does not migrate is cleaning and storing for hibernation during the long, cold winter.

I’ve also had the opportunity to connect with other musicians who are self employed. This has been wonderful! Yeh!

Today, although cold, it is absolutely beautiful. I will bask in the sunlight as I write and play and travel.

Today I had the privilege of being with Melissa Van Cleave for three hours while she created her magic on my hair, and shared her artistic process. Melissa is an artist extraordinaire who paints sacred erotic art and brings this same extraordinary artistry into her work with people’s hair. We always come away from time with Melissa a little larger, and a little more joyful….and of course a little more beautiful with a haircut “to die for” and wonderful color.

Melissa’s whole life is an exploration of the sacred, ensouled artist of passion and of erotic creativity. To me, erotic means that energy which comes from the deepest heart of ourselves and is our passion for the human body and for life. The erotic in art, music and all of life is sacred creativity and it is beautiful. As Melissa says in one of her writings: “The pulse of erotic passion lives in everything we touch, see and feel. In believing this, the excitement resides first inside of us. Then the magic gradually brings the courage to walk with this excitement in the outside world, experiencing the true glory of our nakedness.” Melissa paints beautiful large canvases which celebrate the female body in all it’s sacred glory.

As a musician, I feel the erotic when I hear a breathtaking and beautiful cello solo. I feel the erotic in the rich beauty of the color deep orange as manifested in a zinnia flower, or the rich purple of an Iris. I am living the erotic when I dance my own music into the world, and when I drum with all my heart and every energy center engaged.

“Joy” from “The Journey of Joy” is an expression of pure joy that is erotic and passionate in its joyfulness. When I dance to this music, my body comes alive and every part of me glows with exuberance. Every piece of my music carries this energy of passion and integrity, whether the particular piece is soft, or slow or fast, or has a Latin beat….or whatever.

In her writing, Melissa refers to “the true glory of my nakedness”. What does that mean to me? I believe it means being one with nature, and being fully IN and honoring my body for the beautiful creation that it is. It means being “naked” to the world…..being truly who I am without pretense or any walls up between me and the rest of the world. It means having integrity and courage.

I watch Melissa work with people’s hair and see how her love of life and the carrying of the erotic in her body creates her love for people. She is gentle and loving and intuitive and creative. By totally owning her own SELF, and giving her life to exploration of the sacred, she is being of service to those around her in a profound way. May I do the same in my own life. Here’s to Melissa and all the other erotic artists and musicians….Whoosh!

September 11 changed my life in profound ways. Even 5 years later I still feel strong emotion when I reflect on that day. However, it is not fear or anger, but sadness and a heart-felt feeling of purpose. The events of 9/11 were so horrific. People’s spouses and fathers and mothers and children and other family members were killed in a terrible way and for what….to support a belief that tolerates no dissent….and for revenge.

The stories of courage in the face of loss and of death were everywhere. It puts the events of my life in perspective. How can I get so bent out of shape about the smaller losses of everyday life? It’s not about me, but about the larger picture. How can I NOT continue to work as hard as I can for my purpose. Music has the power to transform. My music has the power to transform, but not if it is sitting in my closet, or if it never even gets composed or performed. How about the part of me that (like the hijackers) doesn’t tolerate dissent? I can continue to let myself change into a more compassionate and tolerant person.

We could have lost Andy in 9/11. That was a huge reminder that family is more important than anything else. We watched Andy deal with 9/11 with courage and vision. How could I do less in my own life?

As a nation, we had a chance to have this terrible event become a powerful tool for change in the world for the better.
However, we chose instead to go to war. This also makes me sad. What can the average person do to change this?
I can honor every person as the ensouled being that he/she is. I can create and perform music. I can stop the wars in my own life.

Now, today, the best thing I can do in remembrance of 9/11 is to live my life purpose fully and with integrity. Blessings to those who have lost loved ones through 9/11, to those who died, and to those whose health has been destroyed through their efforts to save lives.

Today’s Musings are about the change that has happened in my life since leaving the Office of Worship at the end of June. It has been two months and a week. The next blog describes in detail much of what I do now in my working day.
This blog is about Walt and his gift to me. Leaving the Office of Worship was very difficult because I loved my job and the people. We knew that I had to leave. Walt was a constant source of encouragement when I would get discouraged.
He continues to support my creativity and my new life. Without him, I could not do this. He is full of good ideas and helps support Mayan Dream Productions every morning in his morning meditation. He is a cheerleader for me! I believe that we are given our soul mates to be support for one another in our larger life purpose. Walt is my soul mate. Love you, Walt, and many continued thanks.

These last weeks have been filled with joyful activity. Just before I left the Office of Worship, many people asked me what I was going to do to fill up all the empty hours. Sometimes, I wondered that myself. My system was programmed for constant intensity. I loved my ministry in the Office of Worship and especially loved the people I worked with, and the ritual that I was a part of. I loved teaching. So…..what would happen when all of this was removed from my life?

What happened was several weeks of discovery of a new way of living, and then a new schedule for my life. I still get up early and am at my desk by 8:00AM every morning, unless I have errands. I begin each day by lighting my candle and giving thanks to God, all of the unseen spiritual forces that support me, and to all of those who have helped me and continue to help me through the years. My list of names to give thanks for is long. Then I read my purpose statement and mission statement for Mayan Dream Productions. Then the day begins and I begin to fit in the various aspects of having a music business. There is time for data base updating, and invoicing, and preparing to ship. There is time for creating new music, and drumming, and discovering what the ethnic flutes are capable of. There is time for connecting with customers. Then, the website must be monitored. Research in my field must continue. The Musings Newsletter and other ways of communicating with all those connected to Mayan Dream Productions must be written, designed, copied, printed, envelopes stuffed and addressed, etc. My distributors need attention. I need time to muse about the format of concerts, and how to present my music in the most powerful way, and in an interactive way. I need time to develop the workshops I will teach, and to plan travel. Then, of course I will need the time to perform, and travel to give workshops.

The challenges to me are to continue to learn and grow, and to be open to whatever life brings. It would be easy to become a hermit and to become smaller. Some of this is pretty scary! It has been a while since I have performed my own music in concert. It has been 20 years since I taught a workshop focused on the inner world of the musician.
Calling people to make new connections can be somewhat intimidating also!

Meanwhile, I am continuing to learn Spanish, and also focusing on getting my body strong and healthy. Much exercise!

So…am I bored? Not on your life! This is a good time and a happy time. What a blessing to be a full time musician.

Family has been a blessing; Andy and Lysa and their new daughter Caeli Ann, and Jamie and Susanne and their three children Claudia, Samantha, and Jordan, and Jason and Leah. grandchildren. Spending quality time with my parents has been great and spending time with my brothers and sisters, and Walt’s brothrs and sisters.
I am able to be with them more often, and I am more present to them when I am with them or on the phone or on line with them. It’s such fun.

As I begin this next 30 year cycle, I am VERY grateful!